


Don't Ask Me Why

by feverbeats



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 09:20:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/637387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feverbeats/pseuds/feverbeats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's really into blowing kisses and grabbing Rhodey's leg and calling him pet names, but he did all that same shit with Obadiah Stane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Ask Me Why

**Author's Note:**

> Title from a Billy Joel song, because Billy Joel and Tony Stark. Yup. Also, Tony Stark is never not trans in my stories now. WHOOPS.

"Explain to me, in ten words or less, why this is anything besides a horrible idea."

"Why should it be a horrible idea? You look nice enough, you've got a solid career, you make enough money to support me . . ."

"I meant for me!" Rhodey shouts.

In summary, that's Tony and Rhodey's relationship.

Rhodey feels like at some point he should sit down and do some serious examination of why the hell he's still friends with Tony, but for now he's gonna pretend it's just pity.

Tony's drunk, of course, which is why they're having this conversation at all. They're at the bar in one of Tony's many, many entertainment rooms, Rhodey after a long day at work, Tony after whatever the hell he does. Actually, Rhodey's pretty sure he was saving a office building full of people from some kind of terrorists.

And there's the problem. It's not just pity. Rhodey respects the hell out of Tony, because even when nobody else can see it (especially not Tony), Rhodey can see the man Tony _could_ be.

Everything would be so much easier, of course, if Tony wouldn't take a few drinks as a cue to get his hands all over the nearest person, usually an attractive lady. Or Rhodey. Probably more often Rhodey, actually. The problem with attractive ladies is, Rhodey supposes, and they sometimes either talk to the press or are the press. Rhodey may ask, but he doesn't tell. It's probably his training.

Of course, he never says yes, either. That would be stupid for reasons he's about to outline to Tony, who is half slumped on the couch by the bar, glaring at him.

"You're so _mean_ ," Tony is complaining in a slurred voice. "Zero fun. Zero-fun-man. That's your superhero name."

And that is the other reason Rhodey never says yes. Tony's annoying as hell and he never shuts up.

And it's true. They never have. Tony's really into blowing kisses and grabbing Rhodey's leg and calling him pet names, but he did all that same shit with Obadiah Stane. And look how that one turned out. Sometimes Rhodey thinks he's the only one who didn't actually fall for Tony somewhere in there. That makes him smarter than Stane, Pepper, and probably even Happy.

"So, okay," Rhodey says. "You want to know why I'm mean, Tony? You want to know why I'm not gonna let you crawl into my lap? Because I've got some damn self-respect, unlike you."

Tony's face goes cloudy for the split-second that Rhodey always catches. "I guess I'll just have to drink myself into oblivion, then."

Whether or not it's manipulative on purpose, all Rhodey can do is sigh and join him.

More often than not, that's how it goes. Or Tony will go off with a girl, leaving Rhodey to drink alone. Rhodey honestly has no idea how guys like Tony do it, but they always do and they're always assholes. Just because Tony's personal life is complicated doesn't mean he can't use the hell out of everyone around him.

One day, when Rhodey's had a particularly rough time at work, Tony waltzes in the door to his office wearing a rumpled blue suit and a smile.

"Hey, Tony," Rhodey says, making sure to sound as exasperated as he is. He has work to do today.

"Guess what?" Tony says, putting his hands on the desk.

"Not the time, Tony. Now, is this important, or are you going to get out of here and let me work?"

"We're going to a benefit concert tonight," Tony says, as if Rhodey hasn't even opened his mouth.

So of course they do. Whatever else Rhodey had going on, now he's caught up in the inertia of Tony Goddamn Stark Doing Things He Wants.

All night it's the same old thing--Tony flirts with every woman present, he flirts with Rhodey, he flirts wtih Rhodey's commanding officer who is somehow mysteriously there. Rhodey has had a long time to watch what Tony does. The flirting doesn't mean anything unless you let it. It doesn't usually mean anything even if you do, he's noticed.

Rhodey leaves early--as soon as he can, honestly--and decides to make an early night of it. He's only been back at his apartment for twenty minutes, though, before someone hits the buzzer.

Rhodey looks at it warily. No one ever visits him at this time of night. It's either Tony or a problem. He leans on the speaker button, deciding there isn't much difference, anyway.

"Who's there?"

"You left early," the speaker box says accusingly.

Rhodey grits his teeth and buzzes Tony in.

As soon as Tony's inside, he tosses his suit jacket over the back of a chair and slumps on the couch. “You should really get me a drink,” he says.

Rhodey shrugs. “Looks like you've had a few already.”

“No,” Tony says. “No. Because I had coffee. Completely cancels it out.” He hits his chest with a fisted hand. “Oh, huh, my heart is beating really fast.”

Rhodey ignores that as over-dramatic posturing, but he's perfectly happy to get Tony hauled away in an ambulance if it'll make his night a little quieter. "What do you want, Tony? Go back to the party."

"I'm such a cliche," Tony tells him, eyes bright and not quite focused. "Getting drunk and coming on to my best friend."

"If you are a cliche, you've been one for about a decade now," Rhodey says, but his stomach is knotting itself up. He should know by the now how to tell the difference between Tony when he's kidding and Tony when he's about to get serious. Serious Tony is almost always kind of upsetting.

"This is different," Tony intones, slumping further. "C'mere."

"No thanks," Rhodey says, but he takes a seat next to Tony.

Tony grins, looking satisfied 

"Tony," Rhodey says warningly, as if that's enough to shut Tony down.

When Tony kisses him, Rhodey doesn't pull back. Why not see if this option is a little less depressing and frustrating than all the others?

After a second, though, Tony's the one to break the kiss.

"Oh, so now that I'm a superhero you want me?" Tony asks. He's probably partly serious. It's still impossible to tell.

"I don't want you!" Rhodey yells. "And I don't know why the fact that you're suddenly a different kind of irresponsible would make me! Because, see, you can't sleep with people you actually like. And I don't know where that puts _me_ , Tony, but I don't like it."

Tony stares at him for a second. "I need a drink."

And this is the part where it's all pity and no respect, and Rhodey won't be able to live with himself if that's what finally fucking Tony is about.

"Jesus," Rhodey mutters.

"Hey," Tony says. "Hey, how about, hey, give me an hour and I'll sober up and then we'll _actually fuck_."

Rhodey doesn't know what to say to that. Maybe it's part of Tony's new self-improvement thing, but fine, _fine_ , after all this time Rhodey can at least give him a chance, if he's trying. It'll probably be a huge mistake, but if Rhodey had given up on Tony, he wouldn't have buzzed him in.

Rhodey lets Tony crash on his couch and drink his tap-water for an hour while he does paperwork. When exactly sixty minutes are up, Tony hauls himself into a sitting position and says, much more clearly, "Okay! Time for the sex!"

Rhodey swings around in his chair. "You know, I don't get it. The flirting, I get. That's you doing your thing. But I don't get this. If it fits in with the whole Iron Man deal, I'm not sure where."

Tony is silent for a second. Then he shrugs and says, "I'm trying to do the right thing. I'm respecting Pepper, I think. I gave Happy a raise. I--You know, is it so much to ask that you just shut up and fuck me?"

"Uh huh." Rhodey gets up and stands over Tony. "And what happens tomorrow? You get bored and go back to, to your life and I have to deal with the fallout of sleeping with Tony Stark."

Tony's expression shuts down. "Oh. Okay, I get it."

"I don't think you do," Rhodey says, annoyed again. "My career--"

"Great!" Tony says, gearing up for that awful false brightness he used to put on when Stane said something horrible. "I understand, of course. A responsible lieutenant shouldn't--"

"Lieutenant colonel--"

"--be having sex with a--what's the problem, Rhodey? You can't sleep with a transsexual? A fag? A superhero?" He laughs a little giddily, and if Rhodey didn't know better, he'd say Tony was still drunk.

"That's not how it is!" he snaps. "It's _you_. Tony Stark, incredible fucking asshole. Everyone knows that, and it would make me look like such a _sucker_."

Tony gets to his feet, not at all unsteadily. "Okay. So I really have messed things up with you so much I can't fix them. See, I knew I had with Pepper, but I kind of hoped--Well, that was stupid."

Rhodey sighs in exasperation. "I just have one question: Is this about me, or you?"

Tony waits, like he's actually thinking about it. Rhodey gives him some extra credit for that. "I have a crush on you," he says. He laughs a little incredulously. "I mean, I _had_ a crush on you. Back when we first met. And now you're my best friend and you mean the world to me and you're still, you know, incredibly attractive, and I'd like to try having some sex with you, if that's okay?"

Rhodey doesn't know how much of that is true, because Tony's great at making speeches, but it's the closest Tony's gotten to acting like a human with him in ages.

"Jesus Christ," Rhodey says. "Okay, Tony, let's have some sex."

Rhodey's thought about having sex with Tony before, and about how it would be _weird_. Tony's so fake and manic and changeable in his everyday interactions that Rhodey can only guess how that comes off in the bedroom. Now he doesn't have to guess.

And actually, it's not like that. Not the whole time. Tony does talk a lot, and he wriggles around, and he makes noise (most of it obnoxious), but it's also way hotter than Rhodey thought it would be. Tony's solid and real under him, legs spread, laughing self-deprecatingly when Rhodey accidentally knocks against the miniature reactor in his chest.

Rhodey makes a couple of mistakes, touching Tony in ways that make him cry out sharply and twist out of Rhodey's arms. "Sorry," Rhodey mutters, and he fixes it. Every time, Tony gives him a sideways, surprised look.

Afterward, Tony nestles against Rhodey's side and says, "That okay?"

"Yeah," Rhodey says. "Of course it was okay. Idiot."

"Not weird?" As usual, Tony doesn't sound enough like he's joking.

"If I'm gonna complain about anything, it's not your body," Rhodey says roughly. "Okay? It's gonna be how much you writhe around."

Tony laughs into his pillow. "Or how it took me so long to work up the courage to actually come to bed with you."

Rhodey thinks about that one. "I don't mind that part." If he'd slept with Tony before he knew what a dick he was, they might have had a real problem.

Tony nods amicably, already half asleep. "Hope I don't ruin your career."

"You don't care," Rhodey says, but he doesn't kick Tony out of bed.


End file.
